Monday, April 27, 2009

Dick Cheney's True Identity Revealed!

Dick Cheney has come out on talk shows recently bashing some of President Obama's decisions when it comes to our foreign policies. Or he's upset that the US has foreign policies now. He's probably also upset that there's no president for him to push around anymore. He's frustrated that the United States has decided to extend an olive branch to the rest of the world, turning our enemies into friends or at least not creating any new enemies.

I started to wonder why Dick Cheney is getting so worked up over everything. He's retired, for goodness sake! Now is the time for him to enjoy golf or hunting...well, maybe not hunting. Could it be that he has a new book that he's releasing soon and is trying to drum up publicity? Maybe. Will he team up with Donald Rumsfeld to start their own right wing radio show and try to overthrow Rush? The known unknowns aren't known. Why is Dick Cheney so angry inside? Because he is actually Major Arnold Toht, the Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark! Your true identity is revealed Mr. Cheney...or should I say, Major Toht.

Don't believe me? Check out some of the photos I've found and you be the judge:

Here's Dick Cheney at Barack Obama's inauguration. See the sinister look on his face. It's the, "I'll-get-you-Obama-if-it's-the-last-thing-I-do" look.

Here he is as his alter ego, Major Arnold Toht in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Same sinister look.

"Smile at Hugo Chavez, will you? Talk to Iran? Never."
His face gets melted off at the end, by the way.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Easter Weekend in California 2009

The flight home to California was a pretty smooth one as far as flights go. My wife and I left Charlotte the Thursday before Easter, landed in Dallas/Fortworth, took another flight to Fresno and met my parents. I haven't flown into the Fresno airport in about 14 years when I took a trip with my church youth group to a youth convention in Memphis. That was my first experience of the South. It was August and we stepped out the of cool confines of the Memphis airport and got smacked upside the head by the humidity. Granted, where I'm from, temperatures reach triple digits throughout the summer, but we never had the humidity that the Southerners have.

So we walked through the airport and spotted my parents just beyond the security gate. I was nervous to see them. I hadn't seen them since early December and wasn't sure what kind of emotions would be in the air when we arrived. There were a few tears, but they didn't last long.

Immediately after leaving the airport my Dad took us all to a little Mexican restaurant in a barrio in Fresno. Ahh, Mexican food, how I missed you...

In Exeter, my hometown, the rainy season was a short one, so the spring green hills surrounding the town were already beginning to turn brown. The slight smell of orange blossoms drifted in the air. In June the aroma is strong and hangs heavy in the warm evening air.

Friday morning I was able to take part in our family's Easter golf tournament. I used to play golf everyday as a kid, but stopped when I had to start paying for my own rounds. Golf is expensive, man. Now I play once a year only for our tournament. I missed last year's so my joints and muscles were even stiffer for this round.

Family Golf Tournament--Lemoore, CA (Jeremy, crouching. Stephanie, putting. Steve, background.)

Cousin Jeremy contemplates going pro.

l. to r. - Tia Mary Ann, Cousins Stephanie, Jeremy, Steve

Saturday morning came around and our family met at Burris Park. We've been getting together at Burris Park for the family picnic since before I was born, so at least 32 years. As a kid, the anticipation of the day at the park almost ranked up there with Christmas morning. My brother and I could not wait. Burris Park is a county park, nestled far back in the country, surrounded by farm land. It's a grove of ancient Valley Oak trees and green lawn. The family spends several hours out there playing volleyball, softball, frisbee, flying kites, hunting for Easter eggs--you name it.

Sunday, my wife and mom headed up Rocky Hill for the Easter sunrise service. There is nothing like watching the sun come up over the foothills spreading it's light into the valley below. We sang hymns and prayed and thanked God for so many gifts and blessings.

We headed home then over to the Exeter Veterans Memorial building for the Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast. My dad's in Kiwanis, has been for years, and is usually working at the breakfast on Sunday morning. This year he was on bacon detail.

In the early afternoon, my mom and Jessica and I drove into the hills, far into the hills, to find a trail to one of the most amazing lower elevation hiking trails that I've ever been on in the Sequoia National Park. The Ladybug Falls Trail:

Jess and mom

wild flowers

Ladybug Falls

The Sierra Nevada Mountain Range

Monday came quickly indeed. It was the day we were leaving. The morning flew by as we finished packing. We decided to make a quick stop off at a local restaurant for breakfast in the nearby town of Visalia where we met my dad. Then we all hoped into the car and off to Fresno for our 11:30 flight. In the airport, we all hugged good-bye, shed a few more tears, and Jess and I boarded the plane.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Easter is almost here! I hope everyone has a good time this weekend. I'm actually going to be on a plane tomorrow morning bound for the homeland--California, to see my family. I haven't seen them since I moved out here in December and I'm looking forward to it. I'll try to slip in a post while I'm gone, but don't hold your collective breath. Hopefully I'll have some photos to post after the trip as well. Thanks for checking out The Californian.